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Sunday, May 22, 2011

everything sucks. lol, wat's new?

i didn't think i was a person easily influenced by wat other says, but apparently i am.

"go get contacts"
 "be angry cause you should be"

in fact i rather prefer it if ppl tel me wat to do instead of giving me choices. so i can loathe and hate u forever instead of hating myself forever.

but of course, do present ur case with logic and plenty of emotions. best will be when your presented case is seemingly "for my good"

i'm so sian about this whole thing. mayb it jus ain worth it.
so sick of having to hear about my worst fears being spoken aloud. and i worry about the future. i dont want to suffer, but i prolly dont deserve having THE fairytale ending. screw it man.

a wakeup call
it's a recurring issue?
it's always me being unhappy.
i'm always worrying.
mayb i wasnt ready for it.
mayb it was the wrong reason to be tgt in the first place.


maybe i totally deserve it.

 and i'm so sian aboutt he whole thing. i got nth in my pathetic life now. i'm freakingly broke. (damn the lousy attachment. i understand we are a hindrance but hell i dont mind doing shit if i can get normal pay. since i apparently have no interest in learning anw -.-) no clothes will fit me nicely now because i realised it's ur damn face that matters. and my damn face is jus damned. and contacts ruin my eyes but i stil force myself to stick it in so i can look prettier. and i slather myself every morning with crappy liq foundation that ultimately make me look shitty without makeup. i vow never to sell my brand new clothes at a loss, but i jus did -.- shitty.

i should be used to breaking vows to myself. -.-



signing off
amethyst
10:27 PM