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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

honestly this sem is getting from bad to worst. i need lik a hundred recess weeks to catch up.

damn pk mod is sapping away at my youth my time and energy. and i dont feel rewarded even when i get a question correct. math IS disgusting. it makes me wonder why the heck am i even in pharmacy anw. i should be sweeping the roads instead. pk reali reali sucks. i honestly dont want to be a clinical pharmacist now. i doubt i'l even qualify. when i actually do practical and/or horrendous calculations, i actually feel the beginning to a tinge of relief that i do not have to do fyp (stupid me dont qualify). imagine having to mug other horrible modules (which does not sound interesting at all on the pharm website) when other ppl are suffeirng much more in lab. i feel happier thinking this way. that is til someone nonchalantly speak abt fyp lik it's "normal' thing for everyone to do. and only the stupid ppl cant do, that i feel irritated and im despair.

but well too late. i should count my lucky stars i dont get kicked out of nus. -.-

there's so much math this sem. not to mention the math-laded tuition i have to face every sunday. hai. i feel so retarded and swamped with the sec 3 math questions most of the time. how do u expect me to solve bloody pk question?

and yes, i'm absolutely convinced life has utterly NO meaning at all. i shld totally kill myself. or live the hedonist lifestyle. why am i stil struggling and emoing over damn work? (cause i cant stand to fail) -.-  o yea, i will spend all my money on crappy materialistic stuff first. mayb go for lasik. den plastic surgery (be damned abt wat other ppl say. they DO NOT understand the woes of an ugly person -.-) den kill myself aft that.yea. or jus while my life away.

pk is so irritatin i forgot how much even more irritating pt is. hai. WHY? and som isnt any much better. damn time table always arranges itself such that we cant take anything but physics mod which is full of nth but math again.

this mod sucks is an understatement. it jus makes me realise even more how i have nth in life. pretty and smart ppl have it all -.-

o yes, did i mention it has been AGES since i last bought sth decent and i lik? the last coral auntie top from ascentee made me look fat and fat. even my mum called it auntie. -.- and refuses to wear it. -.- i have horrible taste. why waste my money on auntie clothes? or useuless sk2 that gives pimples? -.- miss the thrill of ripping open a parcel and trying new clothes.  it's been so long.

i'm a selfish bastard. hai. i'm nt fit to be in a r/s. no one is perfect, esp not me. but no one is perfect. hai.



signing off
amethyst
12:54 AM