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Sunday, December 12, 2010

not that i wana change my blog add to sth so lame (kayla SRSLY??) but dam those spammers!!!! i hope the spamming stops!

anw. i finally got a pic without my face on fb. jus the back view. a blurry one at that. GREAT plan to finally shroud myself in mystery and secretiveness (is there even such a word? -.-) on disgustingly public fb. rather not show my ugly face hai with the tiny slitty eyes especially with contacts and fake smile that cannot stand the test of camera.

dont noe why i bother or even stand the ever-so-uncomfortable contact lens when it makes me look sleepy anw. -.- <------------- yea in a sense jus like this face. slitty eyes.

but of course, my prince charming (><) will deny all that and insist to my face that i'm not too bad (even thou he is a bad liar hahahhas =/) and try to make me feel less ugly for that, i thank you. =) but really i got to noe where i stand so i wont go ard strutting about with the look-at-me-i'm-so-pretty face. but i really really feel happy when u do tel as how u feel. can so feel the warmth and sincerity of ur words.

being appreciative and appreciated. not everyone appreciates what i try to do, u noe. sucks man. but no matter we all know where priorities and watever stands. i was too foolish to go that xtra mile once upon a time. now i now better and keep my distance. of course this might seem calculative and cloying frenship as wat lwl said last time, but srsly it's to protect myself from getting hurt or turning into some bitter soul cause i keep thinking ppl owes me too much. so the best is to jus not put in too much and try not to get hurt.

but if this is the case, i'l nv get to experience the other sweet passionate warm fuzzy feeling at the heart extreme. ok i dont noe wat i'm rambling about now. need more eng dramas to improve the crappy english. and feed me with more of life's lessons -.-.

been spending so much money that when credit card bill comes, it'l feel like receiveing med chem results (HAI). but of course stil not as bad. but anw, i feel so sian in online shopping alr. mayb it's a bad time to buy things, mayb it's the fact ppl dont want to trade with me. or that my stuff appears ugly. watever. hai. i shal. sleep. before i emo too much.

shall weigh myself again. buffet IS a bad idea my weight is steadily scarily increasing! i hope it's lost! though i'm hungry now! T.T hai.



signing off
amethyst
1:07 AM