mayb working does give u more than jus resume kind of experience. i've come to realised many things now.
firstly, it's reali no use fretting over things, or stressing or get upset. emotions are really useless than. this world values thoughts, knowledge that can ultimately be translated into actions. i've stressed so much the past 5 weeks sometimes i dont really care anymore. meeting new ppl scares me, presentation scares me. eating with different people scares me, but reali, wat's the worst that could happen?
now i'm not that terrified talking to strangers alr. sales ppl sometimes i stil avoid eye contact when i go into a shop, but if there's a need to talk to strangers (ie order KFC), i can do it without breaking a sweat. i can calmly (i think) answer the phone, even thou most of the timing i dont really noe wat to do. it's the customer serving that i've been doing (not a lot actually, but at least more than what i expected i would do?). it's seeing those strange and demanding ppl who are so self righteous when they come into the shop. they act lik they own the world. and the staff talks bad about them. i dont think i'm tat nasty or mean, so why should i be so scared of talking to strangers/staff? ppl are generally nice. sure ppl are judgmental (i think i'm quite critical of ppl even thou i try to pretend i'm nt), but we all actually act nice to each other in the hope of finding a fren, or the very least avoid getting ostracized. in the start when no one noes each other, when everyone is testing the waters, be frenly and nice!
but it's just so damn hard.
the world dont owe me a living, but neither do i owe anyone anything.
my presentation skills stil suck crap (i reali admire the rest who can appear in front of any large crowd and talk random stuff without preperation. i can prepare lik shit, suffer lik hell, sacrifice sleep but stil give an extremely ineffective presentation). similarly for social skills. i can imagine all the crap i wan in my head but in the end, it's just all castles in the air.
presentation training today was quite interesting. entertaining yes, but it somehow made me think/brood/ponder. she said presentation happens the moment one opens one's eyes ie from the moment u wake up. and talking to anyone anywhere is really jus different forms of presentation. eg talking to customers. or talking to the different group of frens. or teaching tuition. i can happily be comfortable with tuition, so why not presenting to the rest of my life? it's jus lik acting really, so why am i so afraid to? i lik to think it's fake (thus it's against my principle to be fake), but one simply cannot bare one's emotions to the whole world. i can happily be myself, act enthusiastic, be sincere when i'm tutoring or hanging out with one person, or talking to my close grp of frens, but i jus fall into a mess if it's with a huge grp of ppl. it's pathetic really.
hai. the solution to being confident when dealing customers is really for me to buck up and start memorising my pharm stuff, but i jus feel so lazy and in despair wheneve i see the piles of crap i'm supposed to stuff into my pathetic excuse for a brain.
i dont really want hospital anymore. more interested in retail, but it comes along with the dealing with ppl part (which i suck at, and am still sucking at) and the business politics part. i should really try to improve in my last week. show that i CAN DO IT.
somehow i think that i suck because i tel myself i suck. somehow deep inside myself i think i can do it, but i not trying because i'm terrified of failing. failing is scary. =/
hits and misses.
signing off
amethyst
12:14 AM
say something'
plain.amethyst.palace
plainpalace.sally.yip
aquarian snake
Singapore
Alexandra Hill Pri, Nan Hua Sec, Victoria Junior College, NUS P h a r m12'
Lady`Mage =)
plainpalace@hotmail/gmail.com
let it go'
if you cant hold on, let it go and come back in your heart
hopes and wishes
.books
.more bc dresses!, bags
.necklaces, bracelets (to spice up boring outfits!)
.above preferably of diamonds and white gold. >< or gold. or precious stones. =P
.musical box that plays pirates of Caribbean Davy Jones soundtrack
.own room -.-
.blank nice books to write my diary
.mont blanc fountain pen ><
.supernatural, grey's anatomy, heros, charmed, csi complete DVDs