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Thursday, December 10, 2009

i think some ppl are so irritating online. so wat if u've got nice stuff i wan? sure it's not negotiable the price, but cant u jus tel me nicely? they say deadbuyers suck but i think those ppl are jus at irritating. those who go "no trades 5000X" or "non negotiable, cant u read?" pls. i hope ur stuff dun ever get sold. =/ bleah. ok mayb i'm jus being sour i cant get the stuff i wan. =/ bleah. =/

life is boring and unfulfillable (dictionary autocorrect gave this word, weird) now, but this beats having to force myself to study. forcing myself to study is mental torture. it's a drain on my happiness and my life force. =/ i dont ever wan school to start. or mayb 2012's catastrophe can be brought fwd so i dun have to go thru this torture 5 more times. hai. depressing. =/

mayb once upon a time i wont understand those ppl who say "i just had no time, i jus forget" when i ask them about exams. but now, when my tutee says "i jus have no time, i reali noe how to do! i noe how to draw the linear graph, but there jus wasnt enough time!", i understand perfectly. i would have thought once upon a time, "how hard isit to draw a linear graph?" but now i now better (think p.anal paper where i coudldnt draw a simple linear graph cause there just wasnt enough time and i was panicking and near breaking down =/) perhaps all this crap where i do lik shit in results is jus another of life's lessons. i get to see the other side of the story and understand perfectly how is feels lik to not be able.

and msn is depressing to. =/ when i feel lik talking, the person dun talk to me. when i stop being chatty to avoid being upset, u ask wat's with the short replies. when i give u loong detailed replies, u tel me "hahas, ok". or take so damn long to reply i wonder if ur'e away. at least have the courtesy to tel me ure doing something else, so i dont pour my heart and soul out to u, and feel peculiarly upset when u give short snappy replies (seeing as wateeveri do don't matter to you). but when i give u curt replies to avoid feeling upset (when u dont give quick sincere replies) u ask why i'm sian. =/ SIANN LAR.

ok i think there's lots of grammatical errors and weird expression but I"M SO SIAN. and feels hot too. =/ bleah.

been thinkin about sth too, ever since i watch the hk drama moonlight resonance (great drama besides supernatural). the values and intrinsic property of west and east, english and chinese is sooo different, at least for THE USA and asia, hk. while dean from supernatural happily sleeps ard with any hot sexy girl he can find, and nobody says a shit there, the family of the mute girl in moonlight resonance makes such a huge fuss when she starts dating, and dating meaning jus harmless shy holding hands and dating. while the doctors from grey's anatomy happily sleep ard with anyone, do one night stands and drink and dance, the family at moonlight resonance stresses the importance of family and relationships (ok the fighting over teh family business too, but i'm sure tat's for drama's sake :D) the contrast is so stark. and it makes me think so far..my values are more lik the west. =/ sadly. i've been goin after the wrong things i realised tat only now. =/ sure my actions might b of the east (so i can happily blend in and survive), but my thinking might not be too asian. mayb that's why i'm so unhappy? hahas. =/ hmm. must change.

and i think i'm reali anti social. bleah.



signing off
amethyst
11:49 PM