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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

i dun lik to think i'm so irritatingly hypocritical, but mayb it's jus my rather confused, unbalaced, not equilibrated mixed up nature?

lik real. -.-

i whine about havin so little frens, but when the opportunity for me to increase my frens come (think camps,orientations), i shy away and retreat into my own little safe world.

i'm jus real scared. and this is no way for a 20-year old to behave. i shld go out boldly and party hard. -.-

but one thing tat's definitely not mixed up is tat. no matter how hard how positively i talk myself to about studies, 99.9999% of the cohort is stil better than me.

once upon a time i told myself studies was more impt and i mugged my life away without even realising it. now tat i realised i cant possibly excel in studies, am i gng to continuing using studies as an excuse, or step out into uncharted territories where i risk much but could stand to gain more about the other side of life?

depressed. pracs haven even start yet and i'm already swamped with stuff i dont understand. even thou i paid attention. even thou i read my lect notes.



signing off
amethyst
9:48 PM