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Thursday, June 11, 2009

i hav no life.



barely aft exams are over, i immediately started work (no, three days is not counted as holidaying). nowadays, my life is work den tuition. den wkend go out with whoever asks me out. if no one asks me to go out i jus stay at home and try to slack. notice how i use "try".



i realised i cant reali jus slack. i need to either hammer away at my laptop or pick up a book and read. or listen to music. jus do sth. so mayb not slacking at home is good. but how envious i get when i see other ppl jus lolling away at home doing stuff they like.



den i fear that shld i quit my job, i would be the only jobless one. or get replaced by someone else assisting my pharmacist boss (which is gng to happen anw). such stupid fears tat cripple me.



once upon a time enid blyton's books told me "pride comes before a fall" and somehow i got the notion that shld i get the least bit proud of myself, i'm destined for a hard fall. but looking at my current scgs girl (who's no longer going to be my tutee soon) who's comfortably (or mayb a wee bit too proud) confident in herself and looking back at my own life (and the things i didn't do cause i didn't think i could do it), i can't help but wonder if my life would be better if i'm more confident. lik wat's so bad about falling once in a while if i can get more overall?



i shld jus stop working aft 19. not lik i lik doing al the manuel work shifting at the crap stuff ard lik some underpaid coolie. 7bucks per hour is jus not enough. i wish it was 7 bucks per hour in may. sucks. i wish for so many things. it's a wonder i dun kill myself. -,-



i'm depressed once again lik always.=X wallowing in self pity blah blah blah......................



on a happier note, i'm really happy with my new mp3 player. i can watch al the videos i wan. lik when i hav no time to realli sit infront of the computer, i jus watch segment by segment on the bus (fringe is nice even thou i'm stil at the second epi -.-). but i wonder if my equaliser is adjusted weird cause david archulata sounds lik a girl on my mp3 player. -.- and there was once i actually had time to lie on my bed and read books (ok la, it was only half a book) lik in primary school days when i could read without a worry for anything (relieving childhood days as my sis so kindly point out. at least i don't play neopets lik her!). and i'm quite happy with the shirt i bought from runawaydiva. ><>

ok. i'm gng to finish that epi of fringe. ><





signing off
amethyst
10:37 PM