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Friday, September 02, 2005

bleah. i'm recoverying, at the rate of negative per second. yea been doing too much math. hmm.. actually, not too much. but u noe me. i can take the whole afternoon just to solve one qn. =X perhaps listening to music at the same time helped me to take so long for one qn, but hey, without music, there wil be more sulk lines (hmm is there even such a thing?) and i'll be screaming at the qn and banging and kicking the table the whole day. but this afternoon was spent on correcting those exam papers i've been doing (with the music blaring of course, waddaya expect?). to refrain from depressing myself, i dun calculate the marks at all. dun wan to de-motivate myself, u see. horrible crosses inflicted on the paper by urs truly cause i'm was truly annoyed at the horrendous careless mistakes.

but anyway, got a rather interesting topic to blog about. hmm. modesty is the quality of being a chinese. and yep, chi youngsters nowadays do demonstrate this traditional quality, in fact, almost to the extent it's lik being a hypocrite. that's wat i feel anw. i feel that sometimes i'm too modest to the extent that i'm lying. and it's not lying jus for the sake of keeping the very nice quality modesty, but i'd rather ppl underestimate me than overestimating me. i rather i underestimate myself. such that i won't be too disappointed and chide myself for acutally thinkin so highly of myself. i supposed this led to my self-deprecation? hmm.. and the fact tat i can see this 'disguting' modesty in other ppl makes me feel rather irritated cause i subconsciously do not lik seeing my faults displayed in other ppl to my own disadvantage? ok, i'm not really sure wat i'm trying to say too. perhaps i should jus go read more books, practice my tys and improve my eng!! according to my progress report, i should go "read more books" to improve my eng. hmm digressing but ah well.

i supposed i'm in a 'philosopical mood' and not in a surly and pessimistic mood. enjoyed my entry? perhaps not. but i'm sure everyone prefers the 'happy ending' stories and not one where i merely rant my miseries. but hey, i'm all for hearing my muse. but am i listening? there is a difference, after all, to looking and seeing. wait. is there a difference? there is la. (a little singlish won't kill, right? =P)



signing off
amethyst
7:22 PM